Sveti Stefan--Montenegro's pretend paradise island

Sveti means "saint" in the Montenegrin (Serbian) language. And Sveti Stefan is the dream image you'll see on almost every poster advertising Montenegro. Connected by a narrow isthmus to the mainland, this 15th-century former fishing village entirely takes up the tiny island it's built upon.

Tucked inside medieval walls, it's a honey-suckled world that feels mythical. And despite the medieval church, it really is make-believe. While I wouldn't describe Sveti Stefan as Disneyfied, it has nothing in common with the real Montenegro.

Vanishing celebrities
Here's why: In the 1960's, the island was transformed into an exclusive retreat for the West's rich and famous. Given that Yugoslavia was then a communist country in Tito's iron grip, the concept seems pretty odd. But the stone cottages became hotel apartments and suites, attracting the likes of Claudia Schiffer, Liz Taylor and Richard Burton, and Britain's Princess Margaret. Adding to the decadence, a nightclub and casino were built.

Blithely ignoring the fact that the celebrities all vanished with the outbreak of the 1990's Balkan conflict, travel articles and brochures still extol Sveti Stefan's exclusivity. "The only deluxe accommodation on the Montenegrin coast," says one. Nor can they resist using the tired description of "jet-set glamour." They've conveniently forgotten that budget airlines allow us all to be jet setters now!

Although Sveti Stefan's ambiance is priceless, its accommodations aren't classy. (For deluxe comforts, head down the road to Becici's brand-new Hotel Splendido, built with Russian money.) Sveti Stefan is a time warp of 1970's retro furniture and dodgy plumbing. But that won't last. The island has been leased to Singapore hotel chain Aman Resorts, which plans a multi-million dollar makeover when this season ends. Once that happens, prices are expected to rise at least four-fold.

Checking Montenegrin hotel booking sites, at this moment you can get a room on Sveti Stefan for $153 a night. But don't expect exclusivity. For a fee of $8, any "jet setter" off a holiday charter flight can explore the island. For sunbathers, a couple of loungers and parasol costs $13-double the charge in Budva.

Take the "Sweaty Stefans"

You can get here for $1.30 on what I renamed the "Sweaty Stefans"-tightly packed minibuses plying between Budva and Sveti Stefan village on the mainland. From there it's a walk downhill across the isthmus. Expect a hair-rising ride. Mostly it's standing room only on mini-buses.
From what I heard, Sveti Stefan's $32 hotel dinner is a rip-off. Give it a miss because I doubt you'll eat better than on the vine-tangled terrace of Drago's restaurant in the mainland village. You look out to the island, and the delicious daily fish special only costs $13. I got fish chowder, a salad, and a whole sea bream accompanied by small squids and wild spinach.

P.S. Many locals speak English, but it's worth carrying a Serbian phrase book. Although it's now fashionable to call the language Montenegrin, it's identical to Serbian.