Country Article / Postcards

No I "Do's" at the Buddhist Wedding

Date: 09/30/2007

Six drummers in ethnic dress led the wedding parade through the traffic, followed by six dancing girls in gorgeous costumes.
Parents of a bridegroom are a big deal in Thailand; Rhoda and I, therefore, came next behind the drummers and dancers. We carried large pots containing the dowry. They didn't weigh very much and we were assured that the dowry is pretty much symbolic these days. Other wedding guests followed the family. The groom (our son, Tom) was brought up from the back of the crowd. Traffic slowed, and parted, the drivers smiled and waved.
When the parade arrived at the wedding plaza, the groom was confronted by members of the bride's family guarding gates made of string. The string gates were only opened after pleadings and bribes by the groom and his family. Tom pleaded and sobbed until he had everybody in stitches.
Once the symbolic courtship was complete, the throng assembled in a courtyard, where nine saffron-robed monks sat in a row, and performed several hauntingly melodious chants. After the chants and ceremonial servings of food, the monks climbed into their van and departed.
The wedding seemed complicated to me. There had been no rehearsal; instead, a catered master of ceremonies with a microphone steered guests and family through everything, which entailed a lot of walking around. At one point, Rhoda and I were instructed to lie down together on a bed. We were then told to simulate awakening, as from sleep, and to discuss our dreams, which should involve lots of children.
There was no pronouncement of "man and wife" that I detected, but at the end of the whole thing Tom and Supakarn knelt together behind the alter, next to a fountain, their hands in a "wei" position (as in prayer, but not quite the same thing). They wore crowns of white cord tied together with string. Each of the guests filed by and dipped water from the fountain with a conch shell, and poured it over the couple's hands.
Rhoda and I were not allowed to serve ourselves at the ensuing wedding luncheon, but were served by the bride and the groom. After a four-hour siesta, a memorable reception at the Land Mark Hotel began, and went on way past my bed time.
Ray Batson
For International Living
P.S. Because the United States does not recognize the Thai version, when the happy couple got home they had to do it again. The American version took place in the back seat of a stretch limo in a drive-by wedding chapel in Las Vegas. There were no guests. There may have been music on a cd player though.