Country Article / Postcards

Sleepless in Montenegro

Date: 09/28/2006

International Living Postcards-- your daily escape

Friday, Sept. 29, 2006
Budva, Montenegro

Thumping drums, screeching guitars, insane wailing. It’s now after midnight, and the deafening music is making my room’s window vibrate. Van Gogh, a Serbian rock band from Belgrade, is belting out live heavy metal music. I’ve an early morning meeting with a realtor in Petrovac and plan to be up at 6.30 a.m....

Finding accommodation in any European resort is tricky in August and Montenegro’s coast is no exception. Not wanting to risk bivouacking on a beach, I tried arranging my hotel stays before leaving home. But few hotels have websites--and those that do never deigned to reply. So, I was forced to stay in Budva’s Slovenska Plaza, Montenegro’s largest resort.

But I didn’t realize Slovenska Plaza is a “holiday village,” not a proper hotel. Its 974 rooms and apartments sleep over 2,500 guests. And in August, it’s full.

From outside, the white buildings with blue shutters aren’t unattractive. The complex is laid out with squares, tennis courts, and swimming pools. There are bars, pizza places, souvenir shops, a small supermarket, hairdresser’s, and even a dentist.

But our poky room resembles a jail cell--and has furniture to match: Hard, narrow beds; a chipped table and two rickety chairs painted black; a tacky painting scrawled with graffiti about the Srpska (Serbian) Republika; five wire coat-hangers in the wardrobe. No fan, and an air-conditioning unit that doesn’t work. A doll’s house bathroom with primitive hand-held shower and a matchbox-sized soap bar. Soap must be precious. Even though reduced to a sliver at the end of the week, no replacement ever appeared. (Shampoo? Buy your own.)

For $101 per night for two people, I reckon we’ve been well and truly rooked. Service? The cleaning lady just throws in fresh top sheets every morning. I’ve never been in a hotel where I’ve had to make the bed before. Maybe things will improve next year--an Austrian hotel group has bought a 50% stake in the complex and plans a makeover.

Down market, indisputably. Yet for those seeking a lively location, Slovenska Plaza is undoubtedly ideal. It sits alongside the mile-long promenade leading from Budva’s main beach to the pretty Stari Grad (old town). But if you value tranquillity, it’s the worst choice imaginable. Certainly in July and August.

Writers who describe Montenegro as a “secret destination” have never experienced Budva in high summer. At night, the promenade becomes a neon-flashing midway, heavy with the greasy smells of burgers and deep-fried donuts. It’s hard to walk for the heaving crowds.

Hawkers sell fake perfume, fake brand-name clothing, dubious cigarettes, and all manner of tawdry junk. Kids clamor for ice-creams or to visit the scruffy fairground...to race go-karts...to cram themselves into Internet arcades to play games. (Impossible finding a vacant computer to send an e-mail.) And endless bars try to outdo each other on noise level. Don’t plan on sleeping before 1 a.m. any night.

Steenie Harvey
Roving Europe Editor, International Living

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P.S. If you’re wondering if Slovenska Plaza’s food is gourmet or otherwise, I’ll reveal all in my next dispatch, my final one from Montenegro.